Expressing what you want without hurting other’s feeling is an art of Understanding Self ✨️ and Respecting the Opinon of Others!
Most of us have a fear of expressing what we want. As we get confused between being Assertive and Aggressive!
This kind of fear we have developed due to the Fear of Loosing 1.Identity, (fear of damaging one’s identity that an individual Gained all these years) 2.Relationship (that we built all these years) and 3.Occupation (Professional Position that you have in your work place)
Somewhere deep within we Believe that Expressing What We Want will mess up the Self-Esteem that we built around. And the chaos we create is, by saying “Yes” instead of saying “No”. These kind of living in double- binded situation is absolutely unhealthy for oneself. This situation clearly projects that one has Fear Of Losing and Struggle to Attain Power!
Understanding the Power of Saying “No”: Being Assertive doesn’t mean you are Aggressively baiting someone.
- It’s OK to say “No”: because you cannot say “Yes” all the time and it is impossible to do the things that we don’t like.
- Stop believing that saying “No” is a crime: somewhere in your past you developed the Belief system that Saying ‘No’ is a bad habit. And tend to accept that Hiding One’s need is normal.
- Saying ‘Yes’ means Denying One’s own feelings and emotions. And you fail to address your own needs. Eventually you can’t understand the real emotions of others.
- Saying ‘No’ doesn’t mean you have adjustment issues. Understand that Adjusting is different from being Assertive.
Why do we have difficulty in Saying ‘No’: Because you are accompanied by the emotions like
- Fear of being judged: when you too much worried about other’s Opinon about you. The opinion that others have on you is their problem and definitely not yours.
- Fear of losing Relationship: Being Assertive and saying no doesn’t mean you are Aggressive. Being genuine and expressing your true feelings actually enhance your relationship.
- Unhealthy shame: Developing shame around oneself for acknowledging one’s own needs is Unhealthy. Acknowledging and affirming one’s emotion is foremost important as responding to others.
Ways to Say ‘NO’ ; There are 4 channels which helps to deal our difficult times. When you are able to track your Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Social pulse, there is no chance of going against your wants. Let’s see the alignment…
- Track your Physical Alignment: You know your body responds quickly to your situation. If you could identify the biological changes in your system like palpitation, coldness in palm, Sweat, Discomfort in your abdomen then be sure something against your wants are hitting you. In this situation, you should Be Sure to Say ‘No’ and don’t try to treat your physical Discomfort.
- Absorb your Mental pressures: Any situation turns into pressure instead of pleasure might ends you up in unhealthy situation. Actually there are some situation provides pressure as a motivation but when the pressure traps you by demanding your Wants versus Power, you can choose to say ‘No’.
- Track your Emotions: by checking the level of your Happiness, Satisfaction and Relaxed State of Mind. Do not forget the proverb “Face is the index of your Mind”. If you are not happy about the decision you made you will be pushed to enter the gate of regret. So be aware of you happy moods. When you are able to differentiate Your Euphoric* and Melancholic* State it’s easy to say ‘No’.
- Track your Social Facts : by being aware of the Information that you are looking for. Gather facts and enough of information about the existing problems to make crystal clear decision. Aware of your strengths and your role in the society. Ensure Your conclusion do not trap your social life . Handful of information brings clarity and helps you saying ‘No’.
“When you Know, Where to say ‘No’ and How to Say “No” – Life knows to Listen to your “No”.
🌿”KNOW TO SAY ‘NO’ !!🌿
